01.06.07

I'm really trying not to abandon this diary, but I just can't seem to bring myself to write in it lately. I feel like I have nothing to say.

I guess I can talk about last night. I went to the Trocadero in Phili for the first time. It's a nice venue, I like it. Brian stood there like a wet rag again. And he kind of pissed me off because he paid no mind to me and was just staring at this group of people dancing for a half an hour. A girl in a tank top with her red bra showing through in particular, I think.

Either way, I got the hell out of there and had a drink up in the balcony. Then on the ride home we were joking about how horny he was acting, and he said we hadn't had sex in a while. Which we haven't, "I've been on my period", I said. "You've been off it for like a week", he replied in a critical tone of voice.

Um, try like three days. And being a cunt towards me, isn't gonna get you any closer.

So we're like this..sometimes I feel like I just can't stand him. He never wants to do anything, he never dances, all the thinks about is sex, he never smiles and joins the group. But then sometimes, I'm totally in love with him, so glad to have him, could spend all day in bed with him. It's crazy. I teeter totter back and forth between these two extremes. I guess thats what a 5 year relationship is like? I hope?